Christmas should be about connection, rest, and enjoyment, yet for many it becomes a very overwhelming time of year. Shopping lists, food, deadlines, family expectations, decorations, looking perfect, and the pressure to “make memories” and book all the Christmas activities that cost an absolute fortune.

We all know that too many open tasks can lead to overwhelm, and Christmas just amplifies it. Incomplete tasks don’t just sit on a to-do list, they stay in our minds like a program running in the background and draining our energy. Time pressures, interruptions, or limiting beliefs can keep reminding us that something is unfinished. This creates anxiety, intrusive thoughts, and raises stress hormones such as adrenalin and cortisol. Once a task is completed, the loop can close, and the mind can finally breathe a sigh of relief.

So how does this impact Christmas?

Not only are we trying to function on a daily basis, we’ve added wrapping up work, attending school plays, managing excited (and overwhelmed) children, and the work Christmas party, we also face cognitive overload from the additional expectations of Christmas. This affects our stress regulation and makes it hard for the brain to switch off. The more unfinished tasks we hold, the more our nervous system stays on high alert. Then we still have Christmas to get through!

The brain is constantly scanning:

Did I forget something?
Have I done enough?
What if it’s not perfect?

Christmas is meant to be a time of restfulness, yet enjoyment doesn’t come from doing more, it comes from doing less, but more consciously.

Keeping it simple

How do we do this at a time of year that feels so fast-paced?

Keep it simple

You don’t have to do everything.
And you certainly don’t need all the food!

Have you considered lowering your expectations on yourself? Your family members are often just glad they aren’t the ones doing it. Have you ever considered maybe sharing the responsibility and letting go of things? 

Do you struggle with perfectionism and allowing others to do things their way?

So what if the napkins don’t match the Christmas decorations? Do you honestly think people are noticing when they’re wiping their face after enjoying the dinner you’ve prepared? 

And do you even allow yourself to enjoy the dinner? After all that hard work you put in?

You have to give your brain the chance to settle, to be calm, and to enjoy what is happening rather than worrying about what isn’t. Fewer loops allow the body and mind to relax, so we can actually enjoy Christmas.

Choosing less

My Christmases each year become less and less stressful, to the point that I now view it very differently.

I watch people losing their minds in the Sainsbury’s car park because the shop will be shut for one day. Overloaded trolleys. Presents bought with the receipt kept, just in case the person wants to return it. Gift sets that will probably end up being re-gifted. Buying gifts that they likely don’t need, or even want, and in some cases what they can’t even afford.

It feels over the top, chaotic, performative and quite honestly exhausting.

The biggest gift you can give anyone is your time, and that’s what I intend to do this year. Spending it with the people I love, with no expectations around gifts, table decorations, or how it’s meant to look.

Because it really doesn’t matter at all.

What matters is being present. Being connected. Being calm enough to actually enjoy the moment you’re in rather than rushing through it or worrying about whether you’ve done “enough.”

You are the present!

So give yourself a few minutes to ask yourself these questions (even giving yourself permission to have 5 minutes can be beneficial!)

What am I taking on?
Why do I feel I need to do this?
Who am I doing it for?
What would happen if I didn’t?

Sometimes the most helpful thing we can do is let a few things go.

This year, I’m choosing less.
And you know what? It feels like more.

Have a very merry Christmas

Love Terrie